Numb
by Misery Monkie
Summary: She's numb... she leaves...


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Numb

© MiSERY

Disclaimer: It is true... really. HA-HA. And the song "Numb", ain't mine. But the poem "Depression" is mine.

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Summary: She's numb.. and leaves...

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I set the cream colored paper on the night stand and glanced at the mirror ahead. I had a vision of you and it frightened me. My eyes drooped down to the picture of us, in the sunny place we had called home, but now it is a bunch of ashes on the ground.

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I'm sorry for burning the place down, I said to you many times.

It came to me that you would be home soon and you would nozzle me with kisses and presents. My eyes slowly went up the mirror and once again the vision of you came to me.

I love you but I'm **NOT** in love with you.

I could tell by the time you hear that, you'll be upset. I know you more than you think. *softly chuckles* I feel numb. You can't see my smile, but I am smiling. I cracked my neck, can you hear it? I bet you did. Hey, listen to this...

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No sleep, no sex for you from your ex-girlfriend

I was too deep, I can't let you go and just jump in

At times I would push my feelings aside to let you feel

I'm Novocain I'm numb and nothing's real

Like the coldest winter, I am frozen from you...

You made me feel that way. All those years I felt useless behind you. We acted happy for everyone and everything, but inside ourselves; you were ice and I was numb. Why did you ask? Wait, wrong question to ask. Is there a right thing to say? Maybe, or not.

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I was weak before now you made me so numb

I can't feel much for you anymore

I gave you my all, my baby

I'm numb, numb, numb

But the tears were silent inside you see

(mm mm mm)

But the tears were silent inside you see

(yeah)

I laid there quiet, watched you have your way with me

I might have cried, but the tears were silent inside you see

You called me names, since you made me feel like I was dumb

I didn't feel a thing and now I'm gone, gone, gone

If you never loved me, why did you put me in this position? Those are the words I wanted to ask for so long. But I never said a thing. Because I knew. You never said it, but I knew.

You asked me and I stayed. You wanted them to stay away from your personal life so you kept me in the dark and you were in the light enjoying your life. You kept me hidden in the box and I sat there waiting for you to come back.

Yeah, I had my own life. But you told me, _"I'm the main part of you."_

Is it true? I guess so.

Without you, I wouldn't have made it big like I was.

Without **The Hardy Boyz**, there would be no **Lita**.

Without **_Matt Hardy_**.. there would be no **_Amy Dumas_**.....

That's what I think, only because I was told so many times by you. _"Without me, you are NOTHING!"_

After years of being pulled in one direction to the next, I'm tired. I'm leaving you so I can feel again.

I want to be happy. I want to love. I want to love myself. I can't do that with you around. You made me hate of what I am, of what you made me to be. So Mr. Hardy, _Fire_, has left the building and is never coming back...

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She stopped the recorder and set it down on the night stand. She looked around the room and smiled. Her shoulders felt easy and light. She left the room without anything. She wants a fresh start without anything to remind her of the life she had. 

No wrestling life. No wrestler boyfriend. No rich mansion.

Can't return to her mother. Can't go to her friends. Can't go anywhere without being recognized.

Maybe she should just forget about a fresh start and just die. Matt can pretend to mourn, then he can move on with his wrestler life and continue to dazzle millions with his fake smile and sexy body that would fade slowly with age.

She can be at peace at last. Alone. Just like she had always wanted.

Amy Christine Dumas looked around the room for the last time and left.

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I'm on the verge of falling

Falling down your stream of hurt

I'm losing my faith in God or have I already lost?

My war with peace has crumbled down

I'm kissing the broken glass

I'm drowning in your death

I'm on the verge of great sadness

Clouds of gray follow my path

I am blocked from the outside, within

I am cold where warmth should be

I'm gone and I can't find my way home

My patience has crossed over

My whispers can't be heard

My pleads have died along with me

I am alone where I stand and that's where I want to remain.

"Depression" by Myself

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When Matt found the place empty, he felt cold. It could be that the heater was off, but that wasn't it. Amy was gone and he didn't understand why.

He found the recorder and played it. It took all his strength not cry. True, he didn't love her like he always told everyone but he did love her because she was someone he could talk to. She was everything he was, too.

He looked at the cream colored paper and read it. It was a poem. He set it back down.

He could have called her mother, but she wouldn't go there. He could call Jeff, but she wouldn't go to him either. He had no one to call and he was feeling alone.

Matt sat down on the couch that he bought because she had to have it. He picked up the remote and turned on the T.V.

"In the Wrestling news, Amy Dumas, also known as Lita, Her car was found on the bottom of a cliff. No sign of her body yet. It may have burned into ashes...."

Matt's hearing went. He watched, but the words of the T.V. didn't reach his ears.

She died, all because she was unhappy with him.

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The front page of the papers said it all.

"WWE Diva..... car found.... no body.... ashes... dead..."

Didn't have to read it all.

"More coffee, Miss?" the waitress waited. Sliding down her sun glasses and shook her head.

"No, thanks. Can I have the check?" The waitress nodded and left.

She slid back the glasses and tied her freshly dyed blonde hair in a pony tail. She grabbed her black hat and put it on. She waited until the waitress came back with the check.

"Thanks." She stood up and was about to leave when the waitress said something....

"You know, you look a lot like-"

She interrupted. "I get that a lot. But I ain't her." Then she left out of mind. Out of sight.

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The End


End file.
